Negative Stereotypes and Cliches Reign Supreme In Fall T.V.’s Worst Offerings
For every show that looks fantastic this fall, there are three more that look God-awful.
There seems to be a common theme of one-dimensional, boring characters and plot lines that cater to the lowest common denominator.
Whether it’s some chauvinist pig sitting around drinking beer or a bunch of hot chicks running around, these are the shows that are making us wonder why we even bother with T.V. sometimes.
(All the synopses you see here have been taken from the official network sites)
Last Man Standing
Today it’s a woman’s world, and this man’s man is on a mission to get men back to their rightful place in society. Men may have built civilizations, invented the locomotive and created ESPN, but they’re about to find out that it’s not a man’s world anymore. You can’t get manlier than Mike Baxter. He’s the marketing director for an iconic outdoor sporting goods store, he loves to have adventures while he’s traveling for work and, of course, he drives a pick-up truck. While Mike is king of the hill at work, he’s the odd man out in a home that is dominated by women — namely his wife, Vanessa, and their three daughters, 22- year-old Kristin, 17-year-old Mandy and 14-year-old Eve. After being a stay-at-home mom for years, Vanessa recently returned to the workplace and was quickly promoted (much to the dismay of her primarily male co-workers). As a result of Vanessa’s increased workload, Mike is pulled into more hands-on parenting than ever before.
For the first time in history the Surlygurls are speechless. Speechless because we are so enraged that this show exists. Even the synopsis makes us want to A) join the most militant feminist group we can find and B) just cry. How did a show about a chauvinist pig ditching out on his parental duties and being an all around asshole to women ever make it through the pitching stages? HOW? Also, who finds this funny anymore? We’re pretty sure that (most) men have evolved from the days of “Get in the kitchen and make me my dinner, woman.” Also, as if it wasn’t enough that the woman is married to a dumbass, but she has to be surrounded by them at work as well? Don’t even get us started on the fact that Tim Allen is in this – the only thing he’s ever been good in was Galaxy Quest and even then he played an egotistical douchebag – or that we’re pretty sure it takes place in the exact same house as Home Improvement once did.
Even though Tim Allen is starring and people seem to love him (for some reason) there is no way the general public is going to let this fly. If this were a show based on some asshole bashing any other minority than women there would be a massive public outcry and it would be yanked off the T.V. immediately.
Premiere Date: October 11, 8 PM
Starring: Tim Allen, Nancy Travis, Molly Ephraim, Hector Elizondo
Everyone deserves a second chance — even a thief, a street racer and a cop who got in a little too deep. After all, the three women who solve cases for their elusive boss, Charlie Townsend, are no saints. They’re angels…Charlie’s Angels. Set in Miami, this fun, glamorous, action-packed take on the 1970s smash hit series introduces us to three new angels, all fearless detectives, head-turning beauties and close friends. There’s Abby, a Park Avenue princess who became a world-class thief. Then there’s Kate, a Miami cop who fell from grace, losing both her career and her fiancé. Finally there’s Gloria, a disgraced army lieutenant who has a way with explosives. When one of the angels’ missions ends in Gloria’s tragic death, Charlie persuades them to partner with Gloria’s childhood friend, Eve, a street racer with a mysterious past. They may not know each other yet, but one thing’s for sure — Abby, Kate and Eve will always have each other’s backs.
Oh good, it isn’t just Hollywood regurgitating ideas, its television networks too. Keeping with the theme of sexist, outdated crap, enter Charlie’s Angels. The movies were great, mainly because they knew it was cheesy and they owned it. This new show looks like it takes itself WAY too seriously. It just looks like an excuse for hot chicks to run around Miami in what we’re assuming is going to be as little clothing as possible. Plot be damned. And we’re sure there will be some in your face product shots of the newest, hottest cars or clothes or clubs or boats…whatever.
We think this is going to be like Wonder Woman, times three, and they couldn’t even get that one made.
Premiere Date: September 22, 8 PM
Starring: Annie Ilonzeh, Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor, Ramon Rodriguez
I Hate My Teenage Daughter
Annie and Nikki are former high school outcasts whose pasts inform their current parenting styles. Annie, who was raised in an ultra-strict, über-religious household where she had little-to-no freedom, pretty much allows her daughter, Sophie, to do whatever she wants. Nikki, once an unpopular, overweight social pariah has reinvented herself as a pretty Southern belle whose top priority is providing her daughter, Mackenzie, with the childhood she never had. Sophie and Mackenzie are best friends, which leads to a lot of co-parenting for Annie and Nikki. They have given the girls everything they asked for and everything they never had: clothes, money and self-esteem. The unintended consequence is they have created two mean girls just like the ones who tortured them years ago.
This is the epitome of why we hate sitcoms. Mindless jokes. Shitty parenting. Terrible laugh tracks. Horrendous acting. It’s all there. It just seems like a complete waste of time from beginning to end.
We think this will tank, and rightfully so. This is the one show that FOX will be completely justified in canceling. In their 3-minute preview there wasn’t a single moment that made us laugh, even a little bit.
Premiere Date: November 23, 9:30 PM
Starring: Jamie Pressly, Katie Finneran, Kristi Lauren, Aisha Dee
A Gifted Man
A Gifted Man is a drama about a brilliant, charismatic surgeon whose life changes forever when his deceased ex-wife begins teaching him the meaning of life from the “hereafter.” Michael Holt is an exceptional doctor who lives a materialistic life of luxury thanks to his work-obsessed career and powerful and wealthy patients; however, Michael’s ordered world is rocked when his ex-wife, Anna, an idealistic free-clinic doctor and the love of his life, mysteriously appears to him. When Anna asks Michael to go to her clinic to help keep it running, he meets Autumn, a volunteer carrying on Anna’s work with the underprivileged. Touched by those in need and accepting of Anna’s compassionate “presence,” Michael’s attitude toward serving the rich and poor is turned upside down, and he begins to see that there’s room in his life for everyone.
We’re guessing from the previews that this will be a “heart-warming” look at how some rich asshole realizes that he’s not the only person in the world and that money isn’t everything. And all it takes is seeing his dead ex-wife who is essentially his own personal Jacob Marley. And, to top it off, he’s a doctor. In writing this we almost moved it to the top of the list. Almost.
People who are longing for the good old days of Grey’s Anatomy will probably glom onto this show in an instant. Which means it will probably plague our televisions for longer than anyone would expect it to.
Premiere Date: September 23, 8 PM
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Ehle, Margot Martindale, Pablo Schreiber
Carrie Wells, an enigmatic former police detective with a rare condition that makes her memory so flawless that every place, every conversation, every moment of joy and every heartbreak is forever embedded in her mind. It’s not just that she doesn’t forget anything – she can’t; except for one thing: the details that would help solve her sister’s long-ago murder. Carrie has tried to put her past behind her, but she’s unexpectedly reunited with her ex-boyfriend and partner, NYPD Detective Al Burns, when she consults on a homicide case. Being back on the job after a break feels surprisingly right for Carrie. Despite her conflicted feelings for Al, she decides to permanently join his unit as a detective solving homicides – most notably, the unsolved murder of her sister. All she needs to do is remember.
The fall preview season wouldn’t be complete without a new procedural cop show. But wait, this one has a twist (gasp), she has a rare medical condition that helps her solve crimes. And it’s set in New York, what a new and cutting edge idea. Our biggest pet peeve: if you have a condition that literally will not allow you to forget things how do you forget the single biggest tragedy in your life? Oh, right, if you didn’t then there would be no actual story line. Though we did laugh when we realized it was originally called The Rememberer– changing the name might be the best decision they made.
This might be able to squeak through one season, as people really do seem to love their cop shows. Not to mention the only thing it will be up against at 10 pm on Tuesdays is Body of Proof and the news.
Premiere Date: September 20, 10 PM
Starring: Poppy Montgomery, Dylan Walsh, Michael Gaston, Kevin Rankin
Here’s the rest of the shows we think look like crap, but don’t even have the patience to properly comment on them:
Hart of Dixie
Two Broke Girls
How To Be A Gentleman
Posted on August 30, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged A Gifted Man, ABC, Aisha Dee, Allen Gregory, Annie Ilonzeh, blog, CBS, Charlies Angels, crime, culture, Dylan Walsh, entertainment, fall, FOX, grimm, Hart of Dixie, Hector Elizondo, humor, humour, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, internet, Jamie Pressly, Jennifer Ehle, Katie Finneran, Kevin Rankin, Kristi Lauren, Last Man Standing, lifestyle, Margot Martindale, Michael Gaston, Minka Kelly, miscellaneous, Molly Ephraim, Nancy Travis, opinion, other, Pablo Schreiber, Patrick Wilson, pop, Poppy Montgomery, Prime Suspect, Rachael Taylor, Ramon Rodriguez, Revenge, reviews, Secret Circle, television, Tim Allen, tv, Two Broke Girls, Unforgettable, videos. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.