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The Little Spy That Could – SurlyGurls Say So Long To ‘Chuck’

PINEAPPLE!

The Burbank branch of Buy More is having a liquidation sale and will close forever in three days. Our beloved Nerd Herders will be out of a job as of 10 PM Friday night as the series finale of ‘Chuck’ comes to an end.

Since 2007 we’ve been loyal viewers of the unlikely spy and his team of outcasts and we’re sad to see them go. There will be no more impromptu, poorly timed Jeffster! shows, no more Subway product placements, no more thinly veiled excuses for Sarah to disrobe and no more reasons for Casey to grunt or snarl in response to pretty much any questions thrown his way. It’s a sad day indeed.

‘Chuck’ was such a departure from the rest of the primetime landscape that was full of medical dramas and police procedurals. It was a fun, fluffy, comedy that allowed computer nerds everywhere to vicariously live out their dreams of becoming a super-spy through a completely relatable lead character.

We loved the ridiculous cast of supporting characters, especially Jeff and Lester. Their Buy More centric antics and complete lack of a grasp on reality and what’s right and wrong was a perfect contrast to Chuck’s straight-edge take on everything. The first time they showed up as the key-tar playing, 80’s-cover band Jeffster! was hysterical. Big Mike was the ‘Uncle Buck’ of the Buy More. His heart was in the right place, but his methods were questionable at best. His torrid affair with Morgan’s mom, Begonia, was awkward, uncomfortable and comedic gold. Who wants to hear about their boss banging their mom in the lunch room everyday?

On top of the regular cast of the show, the guest stars who have shown up over the 5 season run have been a who’s who of pop culture royalty. If you can’t recall, here’s a smattering of our favourites: Tron (Bruce Boxleitner), Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), Dr. Sam Beckett (Scott Bakula), River Tam (Summer Glau), Doc. Brown (Christopher Lloyd), Freddy Kreuger (Robert Englund), T-1000 (Robert Patrick), Trinity (Carrie Ann Moss), Charlie Pace (Dominic Monaghan), James Bond (Timothy Dalton) and The Hulk (Lou Ferrigno). As if that wasn’t enough, the pop culture references didn’t stop at guest stars. What other show could make a ‘Tron’ poster a key plot device?

Sadly, all the guest stars in the world can’t help you if your writing team become less productive than any of the slackers on the Buy More payroll. Half way through the series it was like everyone in the creative department gave up. For a show that lived its life on the cancellation bubble and was saved by fans sending in thousands of boxes of Nerds candy to the network, you’d think they would invest a bit more interest in their own production.

Seasons 1-3 were full of well-balanced characters and plot lines. There were multi-episode plot arcs, attention to small details, witty dialogue and a sense of direction. All of these things were washed down the river with poor old Daniel Shaw’s body at the end of season three.

Season four was a collection of abandoned plot lines and characters and potentially game changing story arcs that were wrapped up neatly in the span of one hour. Take Chuck’s kidnapping and potential lobotomy. This could have been the bulk of season 4, but instead they decided to have a 30 second montage of Sarah kicking ass across the globe and despite his lobotomy procedure being seconds from completion she managed to save him with no irreparable damage done. In 48 minutes. Just by being hot and standing in front of him.

It was this cheap, cowardly, cop-out that forced us to accept the harsh reality that the only irreparable damage done was to the show itself.

While we’re on the subject of missed opportunities, we can NOT be the only people out there who wanted to see the intersect turn Chuck evil! We’re talking eye-liner-wearing-Captain-Kirk, over the top acting, EVIL EFFING CHUCK!

For five years we waited to see that, and all they gave us was frosted-tipped, soy-latte-drinking, douchebag Morgan. Evil Morgan was about as evil as ‘Spiderman 3’s symbiote Emo-Peter-Parker. In other words, not at all. Even that was a missed opportunity. It could have been an epic battle between lifelong friends, the ultimate good versus evil, Luke versus Vader. But instead, they resolved it quickly in one and a half episodes. Again.

We swear to god, if this finale ends with a flash forward to five years from now, Chuck and Sarah playing in their white picket-fenced yard with some genius flashing intersect baby its going to cheapen the already degraded series beyond repair.

Speaking of what SHOULD happen in the finale, here is our prediction:

• The opening of the show will see Sarah and Chuck meet for the first time since Sarah’s memories have been erased. Chuck will be overjoyed at her escape until she tries to kill him, after accusing him of attacking her on the train.

• Casey will jump between them as she shoots and will be mortally wounded. As he lays dying he will give Morgan his blessing to marry Alex.

• There will be a big military, American-hero style funeral. Verbanski and Chuck’s mom will return.

• Chuck, his mom, Verbanski and company will have to figure out a plan to save Sarah. Ellie will be working with Morgan’s brain scans to create a device which will give Sarah her memories back.

• Jeff and Lester will be recruited to kidnap Sarah, because who else knows better than those two perverts how to stalk and drug a lady?

• Once captured, Chuck will try to make Sarah remember their life together. The big gun will be his bullet train drawing. She will scoff at it. That could be anyone.

• Chuck is defeated and sad and Sarah escapes.

• The group will devise a new plan using Chuck as bait to lure Sarah to their apartment.

• Sarah will show up and see the photographic evidence of their life together (Slave Leia photo anyone!?) and will start to question what she remembers.

• Ellie will swoop in with her memory-restoring super computer device.

• Reunion will ensue. Sarah will enquire as to Casey’s whereabouts. Awkward silence.

• Chuck and Sarah will plot revenge against Quinn. For the first time ever Chuck will shoot and kill.

• The final scenes will be of various goodbyes and closures. Chuck and Sarah will pack up Casey’s belongings. Verbanski will say goodbye to Casey at the cemetery. Morgan will propose to Alex.

• Everybody leaves the Buy More, Jeff and Lester will inherit Castle. General Beckman will appear on-screen with their first mission.

‘Chuck’ has struggled for survival both on-screen and off over the past five years. He has fought long and hard to make it to this point. Here’s hoping that the series finale of ‘Chuck‘ is the awesome farewell that Mr. Bartowski deserves.

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About surlygurls

We’re two SurlyGurls brought together by a love of all things awesome and an equal hate of all things which are an affront to awesomeness everywhere.

Posted on January 24, 2012, in AWESOME, CANCELLATIONS, ENTERTAINMENT, OPINION, REVIEWS, TELEVISION and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Thank you for your interest and for your comment; honestly, I almost wish there would be more Chuck coming down the pipeline so we can debate. I do like your idea for Jeff and Lester inheriting Castle. Look forward hearing your post-finale comments. Have a good evening.

  2. Thx for your comment on my predictions post… It’s fun to take a guess at what might happen Friday… I *hate* the thought of Casey dying but it’s been rumored that a major character will die… I hope not but, well, we’ll see… 8-/ This was a hilarious and spot on post. I think part of the reason that so much happened in such a short time span is because each season they struggled to get to the next season and, especially w/season 5 and knowing they are not coming back, they had to rush through all the plotlines they wanted to get in before closing. I’ve noticed, along with some other Chucksters, that there was an eerie amount of talk from cast and crew about a movie. It was all speculative and “Oh that would be great!” sort of thing but there’s a lot of it, so we decided to have fun with it! 😉 Check it out http://chuckmovieideas.wordpress.com/

  3. Someone is giving an impromptu clarinet concert downstairs and I cannot concentrate enough to leave a good comment!

  4. Even though that flashforward idea might be cheesy, I still want to see that happy ending for Chuck and Sarah (but without the Intersect baby, there are just way too many Intersects), but maybe I’m just a sap like that.

    I think “missed opportunities” really describes the show well; a lot of the storylines had potential to be much better. Like the final arc with Quinn: it just feels so rushed and poorly put together.

    But if Chuck does one thing well, it’s finales (save for the season 4 finale), so here’s hoping it’s a spectacular one.

  1. Pingback: Zachary Levi Reflects on Chuck, Says Thank You and Goodbye | GeekInvaders.com

  2. Pingback: Midseason T.V. Premieres – Jan. 27, 2012 « SurlyGurls

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