SurlyGurls Exclusive: An Interview With The King Of The Gods
Recently, the SurlyGurls had the esteemed pleasure and privilege of sitting down with the King of the Gods, Zeus. We had a chance to speak with him about the upcoming release of his film ‘Wrath of the Titans’.
SG: Tomorrow, the second installment of your popular ‘Titans’ franchise will be released to theatres, what was it like to play the victim this time around?
Zeus: Well, it was a stretch for me to play someone weak enough to get captured by the likes of Hades and Ares, but I was excited to step out of my comfort zone. When I first read the script, I wasn’t sure audiences would buy into the King of the Gods being the so-called “damsel in distress”.
SG: Now that you’ve seen the final product, do you think audiences will buy you as the hostage?
Zeus: Even I was impressed with my performance, I took the role very seriously and I think that my ability to put aside the fact that something so ridiculous would never happen really brought depth to the character. I think my performance alone is worth the money you’ll pay to see the film this weekend. In the beginning I was afraid that my awesome presence would blow the minds of the mere mortals. Even if that does occur, it will be well worth it.
SG: Well, we’re sure that you did an amazing job, but what about your costars? We’re also hearing some great things about the CGI as well…
Zeus: They did a pretty good job recreating the Titans, those S.O.B’s, because there was no way I was letting them out of Tartarus, their punishment is far from over.
SG: What about your human counterparts? Surely you must agree that Worthington’s hair was 100 times better in this movie?
Zeus: That was all me! I informed him that no demigod son of mine would disrespect the house of Zeus with such a boring and pedestrian hairstyle. Men were meant to have long, luscious locks like mine – like a lion’s mane – proud and majestic. There was only that one time, at the catering table, that it backfired when I momentarily mistook him for one of the many gorgeous women on the set. Oh, the mortal women on set were very tantalizing indeed, that was definitely the best part of spending so much time among the humans.
SG: Speaking of women, you’ve got quite the reputation as the original player…
Zeus: The ladies on set were beautiful creatures indeed and I can’t help that you’re all so attracted to my awesome power. It’s all right ladies, you can admit it.
SG: Ummm…right….moving on. What did Hera think of you spending so much time with your female costars?
Zeus: It was more of the same. Nag. Nag. Nag. It was a pleasure to get away from Mount Olympus for an extended time. She’s lucky she’s hot, or I would throw her from the mountain like I did her ugly son, Hephaestus.
SG: We’re not sure how to respond to that blatant threat of spousal abuse, so we’re going to head in a completely different direction here. The Olympics will be taking place this summer in London. Legend has it that the games began as some kind of father-son bonding activity between yourself and Hercules, are you looking forward to watching them?
Zeus: I do prefer the summer games to the winter ones; I’m not one for watching fancy lads with their expressive dance moves on blades and glittery outfits. Give me a javelin toss any day. I am disappointed with the new regulations for the women’s beach volleyball uniforms. Why would I waste my time watching such a ridiculous sport without the incentive of a possible wardrobe malfunction? I am also wildly unimpressed with the choice of mascots; one of them appears to have pissed itself in shame. I plan to smite the creator after the premiere of the movie; I’m toying with the idea of turning him into a urinal cake.
SG: While we’re on the topic of the movie again, how do you think it will fair against the current box office champion, ‘The Hunger Games’?
Zeus: I know when my Godly powers have met their match, and while I think my movie is outstanding, I don’t think it will triumph over ‘The Hunger Games’. That Katniss Everdeen is so hot right now. And I must say, she would make quite the conquest for me. Our child would be unstoppable.
What questions would you have asked Zeus?
Posted on March 30, 2012, in AWESOME, ENTERTAINMENT, MOVIES & FILMS, SURLYGURL EXCLUSIVES and tagged entertainment, Exclusive, Films, humor, humour, Interview, King of the Gods, movies, Perseus, Wrath of the Titans, Zeus. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.