Blog Archives

Box Office Results · April 08, 2012

Two more cannons were fired over the weekend as ‘American Reunion’ and ‘Titanic 3D’ failed to defeat the Box Office champion, ‘The Hunger Games’.

‘The Hunger Games’ has now won the Box Office crown for the three consecutive weeks, passing the #300M mark in just 17 days. Making it the sixth-fastest film ever to hit that milestone, and second only to ‘Avatar’ to hit it among the non-sequels.

Sadly, like most actual high school reunions, audiences weren’t really interested in attending ‘American Reunion’. Despite debuting in second place with $21.5M, the fourth installment in the raunchy comedy series grossed far below the other films. Maybe next time don’t kill your franchise with countless, horrible straight-to-DVD movies. Oh, and guess what! Most people don’t want to watch 30-year-olds behaving like high school kids. It’s sad.

As for the 3D re-release of ‘Titanic’, on its second theatrical voyage the epic romance didn’t really sink or swim. Granted, It pulled in $17.4M over the holiday weekend, which is less than the recent 3D re-releases of ‘The Lion King’, ‘Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace’ and ‘Beauty and the Beast’. But, you could also argue that since its Wednesday release, ‘Titanic 3D’ has earned $25.7M, which would rank its five-day opening second behind the ‘The Lion King’ ($35.1M).

Yeesh! All we know is a lot of tired old junk is making a lot of money!

Here is the estimated breakdown of the weekend totals:

TW LW Movie Title Weekend Gross Total Gross Week
1 1 The Hunger Games $33,500,000 $302,839,000 3
2 American Reunion $21,500,000 $21,500,000 1
3 Titanic 3D $17,350,000 $25,710,000 1
4 2 Wrath of the Titans $15,010,000 $58,899,000 2
5 3 Mirror Mirror $11,000,000 $36,473,000 2
6 4 21 Jump Street $10,200,000 $109,577,000 4
7 5 Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax $5,000,000 $198,200,000 6
8 7 Salmon Fishing in the Yemen $975,000 $4,639,000 5
9 6 John Carter $820,000 $67,973,000 5
10 12 Safe House $581,000 $124,751,000 9


[Image Credit: Lionsgate]

New in Theatres · April 06, 2012

Another week, another batch of unnecessary sequels and old re-releases.

This week reunites movie audiences with the ol’ ‘American Pie’ gang. They’re all back and for the most they are all  just happy to be working again. It’s been a little over 10 years since we all first met them – so a big fail to whoever planned the 10 year reunion three years too late! But, is this really a reunion worth attending? We doubt it. Like most actual high school reunions, which are fun in theory they are lame and boring in practice.

Speaking of reunions! Everyone’s favourite doomed lovers are back too! Now you can watch Jack and Rose party down in steerage, do the nasty in the backseat of a Renault and fail to figure out how to get TWO people on that goddamn door – in 3-D!!
Thankfully, James Cameron didn’t go crazy and pull a “Lucas” with the re-release of ‘Titanic’, but he did make one change at the request of beloved and awesome astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. So this time when you see ‘Titanic’ you’ll notice that the stars are in the EXACT position they were on the night of April 14th 1912! Apparently, Tyson just couldn’t fully enjoy watching people freeze to death in the Atlantic with all those wildly distracting inaccuracies in night sky.
But, despite all that extra work, I will be too busy looking at Billy Zane and wondering what the hell he did with his career to notice some new shiny stars!

Save the best piece for last.

Directing: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
Writing: Adam Herz (characters), Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg (screenplay)
Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein

Price of Admission will get you: the class of ’99 together again and ready to thrust their junk into the same old franchise formula. Besides, everyone knows that only losers go to their high school reunions – and this movie proves that point perfectly!

Running Time · 113 min
Genre · Comedy
Rating · R

Nothing On Earth Could Come Between Them.

Directing: James Cameron
Writing: James Cameron
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates        

Price of Admission will get you: the same movie you got back in 1997. Unfortunately even with all the fancy new 3D effects – they still don’t see that iceberg until it is too late.

Running Time · 194 min
Genre · Adventure / Drama / History / Romance
Rating · PG-13

Read the rest of this entry

New in Theatres · January 13, 2012

Here we are on Friday the 13th! If you aren’t gripped with a paralyzing superstitious fear and do venture out of your homes today, you will be handsomely rewarded at the theatres! There are lots of choices this weekend!
…There is also another Disney 3-D re-release.

What would you hide to protect your family?

Directing: Baltasar Kormákur
Writing: Aaron Guzikowski, Arnaldur Indriðason, Óskar Jónasson (film “Reykjavik-Rotterdam”)
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi, Kate Beckinsale, Robert Wahlberg

Price of Admission will get you: Marky Mark attempting that last big job in order to protect his family from the violent life of crime he gave up when he turned legit.

Running Time · 110 min
Genre · Action / Crime / Drama / Thriller
Rated · R

“Dream A Whole Lot Louder”

Directing: Todd Graff
Writing: Todd Graff
Starring: Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton, Keke Palmer, Jeremy Jordan

Price of Admission will get you: one of those old, cliched ‘oh so inspirational’ movies about a group of underdog losers who take a risk it all in order to achieve their dreams. And they all learn a little something about themselves along the way. Barf!

Running Time · 117 min
Genre · Comedy / Music
Rated · PG-13  

(read the rest of this entry to find out what else is out this weekend…)

Read the rest of this entry

New in Theatres · November 23, 2011 [Thanksgiving Edition]

Its time to play the music. Its time to light the lights. Its time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It’s Thanksgiving Weekend in the ol’ U.S. of A. and as a result the theatres are being flooded with family-friendly movies. Even the Muppets are back! Thanks to Jason Segel and some pretty serious love for cheeky little felt creatures.

Why battle the Black Friday crowds and run the risk of being that one poor bastard that gets trampled to death at the local Wal-Mart? Go check out one of these fine family films instead!!

Happy Turkey Day!


They’re closer than you think.”

Directing:  James Bobin
Writing: Jim Henson (characters), Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller (screenplay)
Starring: Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper

An evil oil tycoon plans on drilling for that black gold under the old Muppet Theatre!! It’s up to three determined fans to rally the Muppet gang and save the theatre before it’s too late!

Price of Admission will get you a Muppets movie full of all the hilarious jokes, crazy musical numbers, and strange moments that made the Muppets so adored by generations.

Running Time · 98 min
Genre · Comedy / Family / Musical
Rated · PG

Read the rest of this entry

New in Theatres · November 04, 2011

Apparently, it’s Comedy Weekend at the box office this weekend!! Loveable stoners Harold and Kumar are back! So is Eddie Murphy, though we don’t suspect too many people care. Channing Tatum also contributes a laughably-bad cop drama to the mix.

“Christmas Comes Prematurely.” 

:  Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writing: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
Starring: Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris

Harold and Kumar have taken a bit of a break from their bromance in the six years from the Guantanemo Bay debacle. But Kumar just can’t quit Harold and shows up bearing mysterious gifts, but it doesn’t take long before disaster strikes again. Kumar accidentally torches Harold’s father-in-law’s beloved Christmas tree! Thus begins an outrageous and over-the-top adventure to find the perfect replacement.

Price of Admission will get you a ridiculous and excessive holiday spectacular that is SO not fun for the whole family! Leave those kids at home and experience all the insanity … IN 3D!!!

Running Time · 90 min
Genre · Comedy
Rated · R

“It’s not just a robbery. It’s payback.”

: Brett Ratner
Writing: Ted Griffin, Jeff Nathanson (screenplay), Adam Cooper, Bill Collage, Ted Griffin (story)
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Téa Leoni, Michael Peña, Gabourey Sidibe

A bunch of hard-working average Joe’s discover they have been victims of a Ponzi scheme and decide to rob the penthouse residence of the wealthy businessman responsible. Yup, good ol’ fashioned ‘Robin Hood’ style justice.

Price of Admission will get you another crappy Eddie Murphy movie that not even Ben Stiller and Friends can save.

Running Time · 104 min
Genre · Action / Comedy / Crime
Rated · PG-13

Read the rest of this entry

%d bloggers like this: