Lots and lots of choices this week! There are four new major flicks fighting for your theatre-going dollars.
There’s Mr. High Fidelity in his macabre Edgar Allan Poe crime drama. You’ve got another raunchy romantic comedy from the unstoppable Apatow machine! Jason Statham and his gun show even make it out to kick the shit out of everyone in sight.
And if you’re thinking to yourself “Hey SurlyGurls, what about the families!? I’m not taking my kids to any of those!”… don’t you worry! The people behind ‘Chicken Run’ have an adorable little animated pirate movie for you! They’ve got your back! That’s so nice! You should do them a solid and go see their movie, it looks like your best bet at the Box Office this week.
“The only one who can stop a serial killer is the man who inspired him.”
Directing: James McTeigue
Writing: Ben Livingston, Hannah Shakespeare
Starring: John Cusack, Alice Eve, Luke Evans, Brendan Gleeson
Price of Admission will get you: another example of Cusack’s recent poor movie choices. Sure, visually it looks good, but the whole idea is ridiculous – merging Edgar Allan Poe and ‘Seven’ is a terrible idea. We think John Cusack is well on his way to being the next Nicolas Cage!!
Running Time · 111 min
Genre · Mystery / Thriller
Rating · R
THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT
“A comedy about the journey between popping the question and tying the knot.”
Directing: Nicholas Stoller
Writing: Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller
Starring: Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie
Price of Admission will get you: an uncompromisingly formulaic and predictable rom-com about the unpredictability of love and life.
Running Time · 124 min
Genre · Comedy / Romance
Rating · R
Recently, the SurlyGurls had the esteemed pleasure and privilege of sitting down with the King of the Gods, Zeus. We had a chance to speak with him about the upcoming release of his film ‘Wrath of the Titans’.
SG: Tomorrow, the second installment of your popular ‘Titans’ franchise will be released to theatres, what was it like to play the victim this time around?
Zeus: Well, it was a stretch for me to play someone weak enough to get captured by the likes of Hades and Ares, but I was excited to step out of my comfort zone. When I first read the script, I wasn’t sure audiences would buy into the King of the Gods being the so-called “damsel in distress”.
SG: Now that you’ve seen the final product, do you think audiences will buy you as the hostage?
Zeus: Even I was impressed with my performance, I took the role very seriously and I think that my ability to put aside the fact that something so ridiculous would never happen really brought depth to the character. I think my performance alone is worth the money you’ll pay to see the film this weekend. In the beginning I was afraid that my awesome presence would blow the minds of the mere mortals. Even if that does occur, it will be well worth it.
SG: Well, we’re sure that you did an amazing job, but what about your costars? We’re also hearing some great things about the CGI as well…
Zeus: They did a pretty good job recreating the Titans, those S.O.B’s, because there was no way I was letting them out of Tartarus, their punishment is far from over.
SG: What about your human counterparts? Surely you must agree that Worthington’s hair was 100 times better in this movie?
Raunchy R-rated comedies are taking on ‘The Lorax‘ this weekend. Though it could prove to be poor scheduling since the target audience will most likely be out getting hammered in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day! But, hey, there’s still Friday night.
But, if you’re looking for a comedy that doesn’t involve high school or subtitles, there is Jason Segel’s flick about a sweet 30-year-old stoner who can’t get his shit together and still lives with his mother .
But, wait! There’s more! If you want some campy cheeseball movie in the “so bad it’s good” genre, the limited releases offer up some Nic Cage and a movie with a premise along the lines of “Thunderdome meets Dance Dance Revolution”! Friggin Awesome!!
21 JUMP STREET
“They thought the streets were mean. Then they went back to high school.”
Directing: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
Writing: Jonah Hill (story), Michael Bacall, (screenplay, story), Patrick Hasburgh, Stephen J. Cannell (television series)
Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Brie Larson
Price of Admission will get you: an absurd and raucous comedic remake of the classic 1980s crime drama. Johnny Depp is surely spinning in his grave…
Running Time · 109 min
Genre · Action / Comedy
Rating · R
CASA DE MI PADRE
“Funniest movie you’ll ever read.”
Directing: Matt Piedmont
Writing: Andrew Steele
Starring: Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna, Nick Offerman
Price of Admission will get you: lots of subtitles in a Will Ferrell comedy that is either incredibly brilliant or unbelievably stupid.
Running Time · 84 min
Genre · Comedy
Rating · R
It appears that the movie going public LOVES cats! If it’s not ‘The Lion King’ ruling the box office, it’s ‘Puss in Boots’. Audiences just can’t get enough of talking, animated felines!
Experts evidently underestimated this love and had been predicting that ‘Tower Heist’ was going to win the ticket sales for this weekend. Apparently they also neglected to account for the fact that most people don’t give a damn about Eddie Murphy anymore! (On a related note, we can hardly wait to watch him tank at the Oscars this year!)