Hate Mail: Last Man Standing

American Broadcasting Company
4020 Radford Avenue
Bungalow 17
Studio City, CA 91604

RE: Last Man Standing

October 11, 2011

We just tuned in to watch the premiere episode of ‘Last Man Standing’ and hated it even more than we ever imagined was even possible! Every single moment of which it was broadcast was offensive. It’s as if your company was transmitting pure, concentrated ignorant hatred across the airwaves.

In the first five minutes, the wife and daughters are anticipating the big “Tool Man’s” glorious return home from a business trip and no time is wasted making them all look like complete idiots. Oh, correction; the only one that is not really painted with the ‘idiot brush’ is the tomboy daughter. Shocking!

Finally, when the man of the house does arrive home, fresh from his trip to Alaska, he throws a giant fish down on the kitchen table and tells the wife to cook it up while he has a shower! Not to mention, the daughters have been sitting there working on a “Welcome Home Dad!” poster to which he paid no attention before walking away.

Not surprisingly, Nancy Travis’ character is an obvious alcoholic. Over the course of the one-hour premiere event there were only two scenes in which she didn’t have a glass of wine in her hand. Once when it was a cup of coffee…that was full of rum and the second was when she was nursing a grape juice box because the baby-proofing on the wine cabinet proved too complicated for her to figure out. What a charming depiction of an all-American nuclear family.